Yeta Nother (and another and another)

Being the death of Russell characters 7 to 9.

attle weary and blood stained the party returns to the local pub. There they meet a strong, powerful looking ranger, who introduces himself as Alkyish. He downs a pint and admits to being Russell's 7th character. The parties opinion of him plummets. However, he stays with the party and journeys to 'The Temple of Elemental Evil' (gasp, fear, hushed voices etc.). In the ensuing battles he puts up a reasonable fight, only calling on the druid to save his life once, with a cure spell. Then it happened, when passing a room the party hears (except the thief who may be deaf) the screams of a man being tortured. Disgusted by the evil deed of torture Dramboard the Valiant charges headlong into the room closely pursued by Alkyish. In the room the heroes are met by a human and the biggest, ugliest, meanest Bugbear you ever did see. Dramboard valiantly engages the Bugbear in mortal combat whilst Alkyish is attacked by the human. It is at this point in the story when the thought dawns on Alkyish that he is balancing on the cliff of death, being on just a humble two hit points. One blow from the sword of the human is plenty to push Alkyish over the edge. It was left to Dramboard, Cloud (the cleric) and Eizer (the wizard) to finish of their foes, a task completed with little difficulty.

Russell dies by the sword.

Returning once more to the pub, the party meet Yeta Nother, Russell ranger. He joins the party and they travel together back to the temple (gasp, fear, hushed voices etc). After adventuring their way through the temple they come across a door and beside the door a small hole in the wall. Obviously the party concluded that the hole could have a crossbow bolt fired through it when the door was opened, so they invented a daring plan to solve their problems. The plan was brilliant in its simplicity, Yeta Nother would place his shield over the hole whilst Cloud would open the door and pour oil into the room, then Eizer would throw a Molotov cocktail into the room. Dramboard, suspicious of burning oil (a childhood accident you understand) was waiting a long way down the corridor. Unfortunately, as with all the best laid plans, it went astray, rather than creating a blazing inferno inside the room, they succeeded in creating a blazing inferno in the corridor trapping Yeta Nother between the trap and the fire.

Bravely our hero of the hour attempts to jump the pool of ferociously burning oil, he slips and falls in.

Russell dies flamboyantly.

The party again meet a ranger in the pub, it's obvious where the rangers spend their social hours, also in the pub they meet a dwarf who wishes for some adventure with the party. The ranger introduces himself as Lasta Little. Once again they return to the temple which creates no fear for the likes of Dramboard. Once again the plan was simple. Dramboard would charge into the room full of Gnolls followed by Lasta Little, Cloud, the dwarf, then maybe Eizer, the thief and the druid. The first part of the plan worked gloriously, Dramboard valiantly charged into the room. It wasn't until he was surrounded by eight knolls that he realised the others hadn't followed. Bravely he fights on as Cloud and the dwarf finally attempt to come to his rescue. Cloud sees that they're not all ghouls and that one is a bugbear and is coming in his direction.

Much to the bugbears surprise, Cloud falls to the ground with a heart attack. Dramboard kills off all bar one gnoll and joins the dwarf who had found himself an ogre to attack. The ogre dies whilst the Druid sets the bugbear alight (excuse me Mr. Bugbear whilst I light a match). The last remaining gnoll runs away pursued by a now enthusiastic druid and an over zealous magician. At this point a miracle takes place. Cloud stands up after the seeming fatal heart attack. He casually brushes the dust from his armour and comments on how tough the battle was. Dramboard was about to stop drinking the beer he had found and question Cloud on his miraculous recovery when they heard a shout from Eizer. "OGRES!!." They all ran, apart from Lasta Little. In a feat of bravery never before observed in a first level ranger, he stands his ground to fire arrows at an untold number of ogres.

The figures of Eizer and the Druid fleeing past him could not change his mind. Lasta Little would stand and fight. It was the appearance of two 9 foot tall, ugly humanoids carrying the biggest clubs you've ever seen, that finally changed his mind. Stopping only to shoulder his bow he ran. Unfortunately he met a shut door and it was whilst he was trying to open it that the club hit him. The force of the blow sent him clean through the door and all over the corridor beyond.

Russell dies in a pulp.

At this point it should be noted in the game of AD&D being played each player is only allowed ten characters.

Q: What do you call a thief who listens at all doors and never hears anything? A: Anything you like, he's probably deaf.

Q: What do you call a greedy magician who enters a dungeon on his own? A: Dead!

Q: How many Russell characters does it take to change a light bulb? A: Eleven, one to change the bulb and ten to die in the attempt.